international news _ Jonty Skrufff _ 9th June 2005
Beans Means Saucy Brits & Alfresco Sex
Over half of all British tourists (51%) take Heinz Baked Beans with them on
holiday while 46% export HP sauce, a survey of 4,000 Brits revealed this
week. Tea bags, Pot Noodles and Hellmans Mayonnaise are also firm
favourites, the Mirror reported, with Brits apparently believing local
varieties of the same goods taste different (Icelolly.com).
The culinary revelations emerged as another survey of British people's
recreational habits revealed that 70% admit to enjoying sex outdoors,
prompting the Sun to predict that Britain's countryside would host an orgy
of copulating couples last weekend.
"If the hills are alive with the sound of sex this bank holiday weekend it
is because nothing makes you more alive than getting frisky in the foliage,"
Sun morality editor Kate Taylor declared. "Come rain or shine, there are
bound to be loads of couples out there this weekend horizontal hiking; so I'd
advise people of a nervous disposition to avoid anywhere leafy."
Her recommendations emerged just over a year after alfresco sex reached the
mainstream after ex soccer star Stan Collymore was exposed as a serial
dogger, telling the Mirror "over the last couple of years I have been to
dogging sites maybe a dozen to 15 times and yes I have taken part and had
sex during them".
The shamed scoundrel also implicated hard house vixen Lisa Lashes when he
sold her the Range Rover car he used for his nefarious activities.
(Jonty Skrufff/Skrufff.com)
Related Link
('We carry a wide variety of British goods including tea, jams, biscuits and traditional staples like Marmite, Branston and HP Sauce. All of the following items are available by mail order (US only) . . .')
The Keith Shrine: 'Keith Richards comes in for HP Sauce, which he buys by the case. He's a very nice man . . .;)
